Posted by on Apr 21, 2015 in GET INVOLVED, In The News | 21 comments

[ UPDATE: Apparently some folks in Oklahoma didn’t appreciate our donations.]

Mr. Attorney General,
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for defending the need for Biblical literacy among today’s youth in our country with your official letter to superintendents of public schools regarding the distribution of Bibles on public school grounds shortly after a third grade teacher handed Bibles out to her class in Duncan OK. I mean, sure, I get it – if your state currently ranks 48th in education, why not shift the focus to indoctrination instead?

“Few things are as sacred and as fundamental to Oklahomans as the constitutional rights of free speech and the free exercise of religion. It is a challenging time in our country for those who believe in religious liberty. Our religious freedoms are under constant attack from a variety of groups who seek to undermine our constitutional rights and threaten our founding principles.” – Oklahoma State Attorney General Scott Pruitt

Oklahoma Attorney General - Scott PruittIt’s always great to see religious activists public servants take a stand for something. I mean, it’s not like the all-powerful God could handle it, right? Apparently that’s what you are for – to help point out all of the microscopic loophole technicalities under which it is possible to disseminate religious indoctrination propaganda materials to children without parental knowledge or consent. It’s not enough that public schools and trusted teachers often turn their classrooms into big tent revivals once the bell rings at the end of the day for Good News Clubs...

You are absolutely correct – kids need to know the truth, don’t they? I mean, they couldn’t be expected to go to an existing institution found on every street corner that is already protected with religious freedoms to disseminate this information. What are those called again? Oh, yeah – churches (or private schools). But, sure – you’re right, many of these poor kids go to church each Sunday and only ever hear the watered-down or “cherry picked” parts of the Good Book. What about the rest of God’s Word? That’s why we are so excited about your gesture of support and protection for distributing Bibles on school grounds. We were surprised when many of your atheist residents contacted us asking for donations of our Bibles that promote actual Biblical literacy through engaging illustrations.

packagesYOUR BIBLES HAVE SHIPPED! We’ve been packing boxes destined for Tulsa, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma City, Norman, Edmond, Lawton, Stillwater – you name it! Free Bibles are on their way to Oklahoman children everywhere to support generous volunteer Bible distributors from American Atheists, the Freedom From Religion Foundation and many private citizens.

Our illustrated Bibles normally come with the warning label, “Not For Kids!” However, this disclaimer isn’t because of any language or obscenity on our part, but because we truly don’t believe that stories of incest, rape, genocide, slavery, bigotry, and misogyny are really appropriate for kids without parental consent and/or supervision. But, if the Attorney General and the Superintendents from the great state of Oklahoma really want to promote and protect Biblical literacy – who are we to argue? After all, the Bible really is chock full of relevant content for school kids today.

Origins

– ORIGINS –

Science

– SCIENCE –

Nutrition

– NUTRITION –

Mathematics

– MATHEMATICS –

History

– HISTORY? –

Family Values

– VALUES –

Sociology

– SOCIOLOGY –

Teamwork

– TEAMWORK –

Sex Ed

– SEX ED –

Chemistry

– CHEMISTRY –

Self defense

– ANATOMY –

Jesus says...

– LAW –

Self Esteem

– SELF ESTEEM –

More History

– MORE HISTORY –

- AND A LITTLE MYTHOLOGY -

– AND A LITTLE MYTHOLOGY –

Can we at least just be honest and acknowledge that these school “Bible distribution” projects are actually about the adults, not the children? While most Christians can’t afford to travel to the deserts of Africa, the jungles of South America – or back in time to the era of the Crusades when spreading the Gospel was really fun, it is so generous of you to present these adults with a “target rich environment” to help them live out their fantasies – getting a self-righteous dopamine drip with every Bible distributed, living out their destiny of personally fulfilling the “Great” Commission.  Giving an evangelist access to kids streaming out of classrooms is like taking a hunter to the petting zoo with an AR-15. It’s a type of open season that has nothing to do with the best interest of the kids, human or goat.

So, here we are – in a world with signs on the doors of school hallways and letters sent home to remind parents what it takes to protect one student who could be harmed by a peanut allergy. Meanwhile, religious zealots in positions of power in public office willingly invite the influence of one of the most dangerous and divisive forces in the world onto the grounds of our public schools – without any parental input, knowledge, or consent?

It’s a pretty sad day in America when a parent might feel the need to pull their child from public school in order to protect them from religious zealots waiting on the playground after class. I’m sure that Muslims, Scientologists, Jews, Hindus, Mormons, and Satanists will be afforded an equal opportunity to distribute propaganda materials, right? “Oh, no, no – don’t worry, Timmy – that strange, suspicious-looking man only has Bibles under his tan trench coat. Go on over and say, ‘Hello.'”

Remember to be careful what you wish for, Mr. Pruitt. Yes, many of our Bibles will be on your school grounds this week in the hands of those who stand in protest of your bizarrely convenient interpretation of law. However, this is all because you invited them by taking the focus off of education in order to invite and promote indoctrination. Speaking of priorities, Oklahoma ranks 48th in the nation in education and you actually have the audacity to step in and further divert the focus of the superintendents of failing schools to deal with religious freedoms and empty claims of persecution? Are you kidding me? What does your Secretary of Education (Natalie Shirley) have to say about this complete distraction from your state’s already failing schools?

If a state’s Attorney General doesn’t find it within their responsibility to protect children on public school grounds, well… Shame on you, sir.

Sincerely,
Horus Gilgamesh
(An ex ministry leader who used to be directly involved with finding ways to “sneak” scripture into classrooms.)

P.S. I should mention – while Christians may generally support the idea of Bible distribution on school grounds,  they need to remember that one man’s Christianity is not another’s. Are ministry handing out annotated Bibles with a new-age slant from leaders like Joel Osteen (who some would call heretical or even satanic)? Or, are they handing out more literalist, fundamentalist, creationist, bigoted Bibles from ministry leaders like Ken Ham or the late Fred Phelps? Who gets to choose – a random secretary at the administration building? Is a sixth grader really equipped to decipher the theological differences that separate the tens of thousands of denominations in our country today? I know a lot of Christian parents who would be pretty irate if the “wrong” Bible ended up in their kids’ backpacks.

bibles_ok


SORRY – SOLD OUT!
SHARE THE “GOOD NEWS” IN OKLAHOMA
To prove a point to Oklahoman Attorney General Scott Pruitt that free Bibles are not appropriate for kids on public school grounds, we will be giving away 300 “scratch and dent” copies of our Bibles to students in the state of Oklahoma. (While not intended for kids, they feature colorful illustrations of awkward-but-accurate Bible verses covering everything from genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, and more!)

IMPORTANT RULES:
1. Unlike at Oklahoma’s public schools, we ask that you obtain permission from the student’s parent to send an awkwardly inappropriate Bible!
2. Shipping address must be in Oklahoma
2. One Bible per customer (multiples will be cancelled)
4. First come, first served

ORDERING LINK: SORRY – SOLD OUT!

Do you dare to share?